On Facebook a very famous fitness model, Jamie Eason was talking about him, and her post got a huge reaction from alot of different people, some good, and some bad.  In response he blog in answer to the comments on Facebook: http://bretcontreras.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/will-the-real-glute-guy-please-stand-up/

This post just cracked me up. Not because I think it’s all that funny, but just because it hit’s close to home, as we fellow boxers all know. Everyone has to have their opinion and apparently everyone is an expert.

I get it all the time; after an awesome win in a boxing match I get at least 5 or 6 people (sometimes other coaches) come up to me and say “good job, but you should have done this or that. You need to work on your conditioning more, and do more road work!”  Everyone has to get in their two cent’s.

Hey man, the proof is in the pudding! The way I see it, if you’re winning,  you must be doing something right!  And as for what I should be doing, I guarantee you, I’ve done it all.  I’m quite sure that I do more roadwork then the average competitive RUNNER.  And as for conditioning, I currently have a conditioning coach, who I work with once a week, I do conditioning 4 times a week.  I’ve also trained with professional body builders, sports therapists and fitness competitors.  So I’d like to think I’m pretty well versed in what’s out there.

The nice thing about being involved in this sport for so long (and having tried every method out there available) is eventually you get to know your body quite well and you begin to realize what works best for you.  For instance, I need to keep my conditioning light and fast, otherwise I gain to much weight and get really slow.  I also find that I do better on a higher carb diet (as appose to a higher protein diet), as strangely enough I am able to manage my weight like this.  I know I have a very defensive style of boxing and that works best for me.  I’m also quite happy to work on the inside, despite my height and reach.  Of course, this is just me and I would never say it’s the be all end all.

But the advantage of knowing your self well is that you can take all the “know it all’s” comments, sift through them and select those few that could benefit you.  The worst thing an athlete can do is be closed minded to something, but at the same time it’s important that they realize the advice isn’t the be all, end all (Unless it’s coming from my husband/coach, or so he would think )

Anyway, I love this guys blog, his advice advice is golden, and I intend to totally blog and twitter about him from now on! Thanks!

So when did this sport stop being fun?  I seriously pondered this last night with Dave.  Because I remember a time when I actually was enjoying and having fun participating in this sport. (Now, if you’re currently sitting there saying “well quit complaining Jaime and stop boxing” then maybe you should reread this post, because you’re totally missing the point!) Seriously thought, I think there were a number of years when this sport was alot of fun for me.  I enjoyed going to shows, seeing all the people involved and getting in the ring to fight and win.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love to compete.  However now my biggest concern isn’t ‘am I going to win’, it’s ‘am I going to get robbed’ because those who are the decision makes may not “like” me.  My biggest fear is that I won’t be judged fairly in provincial competition because someone wanted to “teach me a lesson”. And we’ve all seen it before.  Most of us who have fought have been given an unfair decision, but lately I’ve seen more and more decisions made on the bias feeling and rules conformed to suit the “rule makers”.

It truthfully makes me question my involvement in this amateur sport.  On many occasions I’ve stated that I’m “going pro”, or even considered joining a different association (I think I’d kick ass in MMA ).  But then I have to ask myself, what about my dreams?  What about my goals for 2012.  Haven’t I always said I’m going to work as hard as I can and get as close as I can to going to the Olympics in 2012, and then go pro for a year and then settle down.  So do I toss that all away because this sport has now become mainly about the politics and the unfair rules or do I bite down, play my part and do my best, even when I feel hopelessness and emptiness is in store for this sport.

Well there is an “I” in the ring! (I’ve been waiting forever to say that to Dave – I’ll have to make a point of it.)

Boxing is funny, because it often starts out as a team sport.  You train with a team and a number of coaches, you spar with your team mates, you go on team trips and you cheer on your team.  But when it comes to fight time it all of a sudden becomes all about you, the boxer.  It’s only you in the ring, your dreams, your goals, your movement and training, your fitness, etc… You can’t afford to think about the team when you’re battling for a championship, you have to be selfish.

I always had a bit of trouble with this thinking.  I’ve been taught that being selfish is bad – as have most people, that’s why there are so many passive aggressive folk in the world – but at the same time felt that in order to succeed I needed to think of myself, put myself first.  I was really torn with this whole boxing is a selfish sport, and it’s okay idea.  But I think I get it now.

Being selfish when you train doesn’t mean telling your coach “screw the team, I’m doing this on my own cause I’m aloud to be selfish” – tried it, I just got yelled at.  You do need to train with your team and listen to your coach because you need them to make yourself improve.

When you train with your teammates, you have to always put yourself first, but in a matter of thinking, not doing.  You need to train with the team in a way that will benefit the team, but will also benefit you the most, by thinking of yourself.   What I’m saying is that you should always have YOU as your interest in the front of your mind.  You’re doing this for YOU.  When you’re working with someone who’s green what can you do to help improve YOUR game?  Is your footwork right? Are you hands always up?  If you focus on yourself in a team environment it will have very positive effects…  And of course but letting the other person work you’ll be helping them too… As oppose to thinking how much better you are then the person who you’re working with and beating them up, which will only make you a self doubting, arrogant, showboating jerk who doesn’t really understand teammanship or sportsmanship.

Dave made an interesting point the other day when he was talking about his job as a bouncer.  He said that when dealing with rowdy people at the bar the men were always easier to reason with then the women.  He said the the women always went on to become more aggressive and mean when crossed.

I brought this up with one of my coaches today and he mentioned the idea that maybe now adays when a man tells a woman what to do she takes it as a challenge to her equality.  And when someone has had a good dose of liquid courage (alcohol – Duh!) Anyone can get more aggressive, brave, whatever you want to call it.  This resisted with me, being a feminist and all.  But what gets me is how these women think that they can actually “take on” a guy and come out on top!

Well okay, given certain circumstances like say an 11 year old boy, or a very small malnourished man or someone who is morbidly obese vs. a strong fit woman who knows how to fight, the woman will win.  But in reality men are predisposed to be stronger, and most of them have experienced a fight in their life and have the instinct to fight.

I think media gives women this idea that if she were to go head to tow with a guy she could win a fight.  Movies with thes sexy female characters that strut around in lycra and heels and can knock out a group of 200+lbs pound thugs with one punch is just so unrealistic!  It would just never happen.

I’ve been competing in boxing for quite a while now.  I’ve seen men knock each-other out, sometimes with one punch, a lucky one or a well calculated one, but never in my boxing career, on TV or live have I seen a woman knock out another women, who is her same weight, let alone a man who is larger then she.  And come on now, the point in boxing – at least Pro Boxing – is to knock your opponent out .  Actually, no I’m lying.  My friend Sarah did knock out one of her opponents in a pro fight.  But to her opponents credit I think she had pneumonia or something like that…

Anyway, that’s besides the point.  My point is that it’s very hard for a woman to take on a man.  The one big disadvantage men have is the stereotype that it’s not okay to hit or handle for that matter, a woman.  But some men don’t abide by this idea.  Women need to get this macho ‘I can kick your ass and you can’t touch me’ attitude out of their head.

I think it’s really important for a woman to learn how to defend herself.  And if she can disarm a man using her mind and communication skill all the better.  But if it does come down to a fight, I’m going to hold true to the hit and then run like hell plan.

In boxing you meet alot of tough, skilled and able women and what surprises me about them most is that they all hold this same opinion.

What is with MEN in boxing?  When did men afford to become such babies in a sport that screams manliness!  In my 4 years involved in this sport I’ve met more women who have more balls then any of the guy.

Okay so there are women who are babies in boxing, who turn away during a match, or even worse, quit, who cry after a loss and stop if it’s to hard; but I’m not talking about the powder puff, has two fights and then calls it a day then goes around for the rest of their lives saying “I’m a boxer” (Oh and there are just as many – actually more if you look at the numbers – of men who do the SAME thing).  I’m talking about women who have committed to the sport, who are constantly looking for fights, getting up at 6am to run every day, working till 6pm then going to the gym to work even more.  I’m talking about the women who spar with the guys and who push them!  I’m talking about the women who aren’t afraid to lose because they will learn from it and work even harder the next time and when they win they are gracious and learn from that too.

In the last year I have seen more guys quit.  I’ve heard more guys tell me how scared they are to lose their fights.  Their life will be over, they wont be able to handle the loss and just don’t know how they will go on.  And if they lose (and they have a 50% chance, even more depending what province their fighting in) their spirit is broken!  They’ve learned nothing, they are scared to fight again, boxing has ruined their life!

WHAT!  Whatever happened to get back on the horse?

Okay, okay, maybe I’m being a little harsh, maybe this applies to people in general.  Maybe the reason I’m hearing this stuff out of so many guys’ mouths is because there are more men in boxing… but I’ve never had a woman tell me boxing has ruined their life.  Maybe I just associate myself with the strong women in the sport… But really the sport can’t afford weak women, so why can it afford weak men?

So grow some balls boys, because eventually there will be as many weight categories in the Olympics for women as men, they will allow us to apply for government scholarship, and women in Canada will overcome men in world rankings… Oh wait, we already do that.

On a final note, please don’t take me to seriously, after all I am a woman, and I wouldn’t be so if I couldn’t bitch.  But hey, at least I got balls (figuratively speaking, of course)!

But once we were married, and after I’d been boxing for a year and was having a fairly successful boxing career I began to to doubt what Dave told me, question his tutelage and actually argue with him!  This lead to some great fights, that carried on past the gym doors and into our home.  After about 6 or 7 months of this Dave passed me on to his friend Steve, and the cycle started again. 

I had no idea why I was questioning Dave.  He’s had years more experience then me, is much more dynamic and has an excellent eye and a wealth of knowledge, but I still found myself arguing, not trusting what he told me or told me to do…

Then, this afternoon I stood, out of breath with my new conditioning coach, swearing up and down I would do whatever he said and put 100% trust into him, no matter what.  He sold it to me straight “the biggest problem when you get good is you begin thinking for yourself.  You begin to question other peoples directions and you begin to argue.  There is no room for that in boxing, or any competitive sport when you’re working towards Olympic caliber.  Forget about what YOU think, you do what you’re told!”

I never got it before, but today this guy hit home!  I’d always wondered why over the years I began to question and fight back on authority in the gym… It was because all of a sudden I had knowledge, this knowledge was working for me and I was becoming successful.  I was starting to think for myself.  Sound good?  Maybe, when you’re in the ring and you’re fighting someone very dynamic and have to adapt, but when you start thinking that you’re more knowledgeable then those who you’ve hired to train you (who have years more experience, who have been coaching for years and more people then just you) is when you run into problems.

A few months ago I realized the only answer I could give Dave was “yes”, but I didn’t really understand why until today.  You’re coach’s word is like the word of God.  He or she has your best interest in mind and if they have the same goals as you, should know the best way to get you there*.

So for those of you who question your coaches, chances are you’re probably getting pretty good, or at least experienced, and you’re starting to think for yourself.  Take my advice and quite that right now, or you may find yourself loosing more then you wish.  YES is the only answer for success.

*note: if they don’t share your goals or don’t care about your goals then you may want to have a good talk with them to make sure you’re on the same page, or get a coach who does.